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Donald Trump delivers a box of French whine

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Donald Trump’s Tuesday morning has been consumed by the fact that he’s finally burned through the stack of “Best of” Hannity that he watched while on Air Force One and is starting to catch up with what people actually thought of his performance in Europe. But after spending most of the morning attacking French president Emmanual Macron for being anti-Nazi, and threatening to raise tariffs on French wine, Trump actually treated the world to his greatest American export: A box of whine.

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Yes, according to Trump, the Sikorsky VH-3D known as “Marine One” cannot fly in the rain. Which, of course, makes it the perfect helicopter … for the Marines. The other name for this particular model of helicopter is Sea King, and it’s used for both anti-submarine warfare and for sea rescues. So, the idea that it can’t fly in light drizzle is, maybe, perhaps, just a little stupid. As for driving, the distance wasn’t too great for other dignitaries, including John Kelly, who apparently still works even when more than thirty miles away from de Gaulle.

Finally, the image at the top of the article is from that “pouring rain” speech Trump delivered over the weekend. In the image above, Trump is holding an umbrella, but a close examination shows that no one else is. In fact, the scattered drizzle that day was so light, that no one else even bothered to unfurl a cover. Apparently Donald Trump follows the Wicked Witch of the West rain gauge—if hit by a drop, he could melt, leaving behind only a crumpled suit, a overlong tie, and a puddle like someone left out a giant orange creamsicle. 

Trump hasn’t even started whining yet about the other coverage from Europe. But he’ll get there. Eric Trump may be in charge of the Trump winery. But for the whinery, it’s all pop pop.


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